Getting by

I'm getting by.

Its not a happy state to be in but it'll do for now. I haven't been posting as I didn't feel like writing about my current ills. I didn't want to define myself by my aches and pains and at the moment this is all I can talk about because its frustrating me to desperation! So I've decided to ditch that and just rant. It might help. No one's going to judge me here. Its my blog and I can write what I want in it.

I've been in treatment for about 6 weeks now. I would hope that there'd be some kind of relief. Instead the pain on my shoulder has progressed and I am typing this while I waves of pain sweep through my shoulder.

I was happy to have been able to paint the bugs 2 weeks ago and found that painting didn't hurt. Today I tried drawing and writing on my journal and found that doing that was also painful.

I tend to make studies before I execute a visual concept in whatever form the concept dictates and now that I don't have that option I found myself unable to go through this phase in my creative process. Again, more frustration.

If I want a pearl then I must become a diver. Well atleast that's what one of the rune cards say. I am however at my wits end trying to cope with the pain and the frustration. I must get past that before I can even begin to adjust.

Taking pain reliever doesn't really help. It makes me drowsy and I don't get anything done but sleep.

Later I'll try and do some sewing. Off to bed I go with the hope that the pain will eased by slumber. More slumber...